If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
