he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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