If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
