suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
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