Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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