just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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