i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
