can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
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