They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
