it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
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