Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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