my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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