we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
