you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
