Pants 0. Shit 1.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
