the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
It's not a walk of shame if you run
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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