Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
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