if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
