we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
