After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
