Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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