bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
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