Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
