My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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