oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
