One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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