You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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