Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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