Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
