tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
