shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Randomize
