I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
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