Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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