Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
so let's talk penis.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
