never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
