YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
