That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Blood and glitter go together right?
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
this hospital has no fireball
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Randomize
