I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
