I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
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