We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize
