handjob tips. give me some.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
did i walk over a car last night?
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
