Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
