Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
