Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
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