We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
