Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Randomize
