Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
