i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Randomize
