belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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