What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
did you just send me my own nude
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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