i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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